Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love does not mean unconditional acceptance of bad behavior.

As I read this on a Facebook “meme” I thought of two things. First, I chuckled a little at the idea that we get our knowledge or affirmation of anything from Facebook. Second, I thought of despite the “source” how true this simple sentence is. And how true it is in my life for this moment. Genuinely, I thought of how this simple sentence summed up all I had been trying to put into words over the last few days.

I was asked for help. Help I couldn’t give. Because it isn’t help at all. It’s enabling. Enabling to stay in the same dark desperate place of life that ends up nowhere good. A dark place that needs abrupt intervention. Softly, I apologized. I said I love you too much for that.

As you can imagine, and have probably felt before, it wasn’t favorably accepted. And that hurt.

What I got in return was a short dissertation of a plea for unconditional love. Love that accepts whatever place, whatever behavior, and whatever desire is present in and with that person.

Immediately I wanted to explain that my No was love. Unconditional love. My no had nothing to do with anything but love. As a matter of fact, my heart was full of gentle love as I whispered the word: No. More than would probably ever be known. But, I remained silent. The explanation would have been misunderstood, received even less favorably than the no already had been, and resulted in additional hurt. More than I or she wanted.

Several days passed and there was silence. Silence as I pondered our small interaction. Wishing it could be different. Knowing in time it would be.

I prayed for a break. A period of rest. While we continue this journey and He continues the work in her heart that walks her to Him. He answered. From a perfect place of unconditional love. And then I wasn’t sure if I wanted His answer. I wanted rest. But rest and silence are sometimes as hard as the chaos.

We drove past each other on the highway. She didn’t notice. But I did. It hurt. But I caught a glimpse that she was still breathing and ‘okay’. My heart was thankful for the glimpse He gave me in the middle of the rest I asked for. The glimpse He graciously gave me while honoring rest. Perfect. As He always is.

As I carried things in the house with the kids and my husband a few moments later, I was thankful. Thankful the unconditional love of my heavenly Father isn’t contingent on my whim. He doesn’t get frustrated with my shortcomings. He loves me from a perfect place I can’t understand. Because I’m human and flawed. He isn’t.

As I love my children, I still have moments of frustration, anger, and selfishness. But, He doesn’t. He loves from compassion, sacrifice, and pure grace. Grace I don’t deserve or earn.

His love is unconditional. But it’s not an unconditional acceptance of bad behavior. He tells me No. No when it’s not best for me. No when my lesson is more important than my desire. Always with love. Always right. He tells me No when No is what I need.

I have consequences for my actions and choices. I come often with a repentant heart for the mistakes I make in this life. He forgives, corrects, and shows me the way for better. All out of unconditional love.

As parents, I find we struggle, with the display of unconditional love but not failing to correct the behavior in need of correction. Especially when our children are struggling with their life choices. As little ones its a fit over being told no, or stubbornness they can’t seem to control yet. As they get older those life choices can be many things. Some not so bad but some are. Sin is a struggle for each one of us. Ourselves and our children. We are human. We are flawed. It’s His grace alone that brings us home through salvation. But it’s a journey of transformation.

Transformation from a place of sin covered life to a place of holy.

Jesus died for the sin of all. Not mine anymore than others. As we learn to love the person unconditionally we learn to display that love without accepting the bad behavior (sin).

Today, I’m so thankful God is our example. How to love others without loving the sin. Thankful, He loves me unconditionally without ever loving my sin. Thankful, He loved me enough to walk me through a journey of unconditional love that helped me find my way to Him without enabling the sinful behavior that leads to death.

I want to encourage all of us today to seek opportunity to love someone in life. In the middle of the pit of sin leading them to death. To spread the gospel of hope for the lost. Remembering we were once lost as well. To display an unconditional love with compassion for the person without an unconditional acceptance of the sin.

” Of all the commandments, which is the most important? The most important one, answered Jesus, is this: Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:28-31

Be blessed today. Walk in love. Bobbie