Today marks the end of a chapter as we embark on the beginning of the rest of the story. I can hear the click of the typewriter as the black ink marks the last period at the end of the last sentence. The sound of the last few twists of the roller knob as this page is finished. A fresh paper is slid into place turning the roller knob until an inch from the top is aligned with the ribbon of ink. A click of the carriage return and we are ready.
46 trips around the sun. 16,970 sunrises.
As I reflect in the previous 46 years I cannot help but think. There are chapters of my story I wish I had never written, yet I have. There are pages I wish an eraser would mark out without leaving behind a smudge of ink as a blemish. Yet, because of who God is, over every page in every word I see woven in the paragraphs, grace. The grace of a loving God who in spite of myself has poured blessing after blessing upon me. He is so good to me. Better than I deserve.
In spite of myself, God has protected.
In spite of myself, God has provided.
In spite of myself, God has loved.
In spite of myself, God has forgiven.
In spite of myself, God has comforted.
In spite of myself, God has graciously taken the broken pieces of my life and tenderly molded them into a testimony of his goodness for his glory to further his kingdom.
I have experienced times of significant loss where the grief has left me without breath because breathing was too much work.
I have experienced times of significant happiness where bubbling over from within my soul was a fountain of refreshing.
I have experienced times of significant pain where the ache has hurt so big my chest felt hollow without a beating heart.
I have experienced times of melancholy where the routine of life felt mundane and without purpose.
I have experienced times of great fear where the entire world and everything I knew it to be crumbled rapidly around me as I watched the dust particles taken away with the blowing of the wind.
Yet, in all those times, God has stood beside me with open loving arms waiting with long suffering for me to invite him into my moment. Even in the moments I created of my own doing. Even those moments. Far too many of the moments I denied his presence as I pushed him aside blaming him for the circumstances. Yet, in spite of the inconsistency of my willingness to submit those moments to him, he kept his hand upon me bringing together all things for my good. On occasion I have found myself in moments where I perceived there was no other alternative but to submit to God. In spite of all the times I held my moments to myself refusing to submit, he loved me enough to give grace, enter the moments I would give him, and bless me graciously, lovingly, and mercifully.
The beauty of the prodigal is we do not know how long he was gone. How many days, sunrises, sunsets, years. We do not know. It’s not the important part of the story. The important part of the story for you and me, is the welcome home by the loving father who celebrated a lost son returned. The father saw the son coming home from afar off. As he called for celebration he ran to meet him. I can imagine the joy in the heart of the father as he wrapped his arms around the son he never stopped loving. I can imagine the relief of the son as his father ran toward him with loving open arms to shepherd him the rest of the journey home. Luke 15:11-32
A few short years ago, after much wandering, I came to myself and took the journey home to a loving Father who welcomed me with open arms celebrating my return. I took one step as he ran the rest toward me to shepherd me home.
My moments on this earth are different now. I experience seasons of difficulty, hurt, suffering, and happiness. But through it all the constant of Jesus remains steadfast. He is faithful and good. I choose Faith over fear, praise despite the storm, a heart that worships almighty God, and share the testimony of my life for his glory. Not because of who I am but because of who he is. The world did not give me joy therefore the world cannot take it away. The calm and peace of the loving hand of the Father in every moment of my life is beyond comprehension even to myself.
The life we live as we journey on this earth in a fallen world is one that is marked with its trials and tribulations as they rain on the just and unjust alike. But this earth is not my home as I merely pass through. What I seek and long for exists outside the realm of the temporary of this world. I long to see the face of my loving Savior as he says those precious words, thy good and faithful servant, welcome home.
The soul is the goal. The war for my soul has never been more real to me in the previous 40 plus years until this past year as I have opened my eyes to the agenda and ways of the devil who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy as he roams around the earth looking for more he can take with him to his eternal place of death and destruction, hell. Make no mistake my friend, there is but one end game, it is the eternal home of your soul. Every sunrise is the mercy of a loving Father giving one more opportunity for yet another prodigal to come to himself and find his way home. May we never forget.
As I begin this next chapter of the story before a single sentence is typed on a fresh page, I ask, my God what would you have for the next chapter to say. As you are the author and I am merely the lowly humble servant awaiting your divine life giving words to flow through this broken vessel as a testimony of your goodness for your glory in the work of your kingdom.
Let there be another trip around the sun where I collect souls for the prize of eternal life with you.
Above all else in this world let me seek you, know you, find you, and be led by you.
Your daughter, Bobbie
“Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”
James 4:14 KJV
“Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths. You have charged us to keep your commandments carefully. Oh, that my actions would consistently reflect your decrees! Then I will not be ashamed when I compare my life with your commands. As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should! I will obey your decrees. Please don’t give up on me!”
Psalms 119:1-8 NLT
“Be good to your servant, that I may live and obey your word. Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in your instructions. I am only a foreigner in the land. Don’t hide your commands from me! I am always overwhelmed with a desire for your regulations.”
Psalms 119:17-20 NLT
