Momma

Momma

I’m honored to be called momma. My little boy leaned in to give me a kiss yesterday after calling my attention to him with a long drawn out momma. It warms my heart beyond words. In the dark of night my toddler crawled into bed with me, wrapped her little arms around my neck, and told me she loved me. I should have put her back in her own bed but honestly it warmed my heart so I didn’t. I savored it. As my baby ran to the stairs yelling out momma with excitement the whole day was instantly better. None of the rest of life’s struggles mattered in that moment. My heart was full. Overflowing with the kind of love that pushes aside the wear and tear of the day. Earlier this week my son and his wife visited with our grandbabies for celebration of Mother’s Day. It’s the only gift I would have wished for.  My daughter and husband sat in the living room awaiting their arrival without saying a word. As the door opened and babies walked through my heart was full. 

The week has been full of love, laughter, and memories. I’ve watched the little ones spend quality time playing, fighting over toys, and waking with renewed excitement each day at the chance to do it all over again. They’ve been good days. 

This morning as I paused to enjoy the flowers I received in addition to the visits I thought of the mommas whose hearts are hurting this weekend. The mommas who find the holiday weekend to be daunting and overwhelming. 

Our momma hearts can hurt for so many reasons. Some reasons hurt so bad there aren’t words to describe the gaping hole in their chest where a heart once beat. Some hurt because they haven’t been able to be a momma and it’s their biggest desire. The one thing they want more than anything else in life. Others have lost their babies to the tragedy of life. Maybe even before they were able to hold them. Other hearts are broken with hurt because they’ve lost their momma. Their rock in life. The one person they knew loved them no matter what. And others hurt because they haven’t experienced the love of a momma themselves. Strained or broken relationships with children are surfaced in new ways with incredible difficulty, especially for mommas on Mother’s Day. Wishing there was a call but secretly hoping it doesn’t come because it’s likely to be painful. A pain that hurts so big. Honestly they aren’t sure what is worse. Call or no call. They both hurt so big. 

I also thought of the mommas who struggle with insecurities, doubts, and fears about their ability to be a mom. Struggling with feelings of not being good enough is a difficult, daunting, but very real struggle. Over coming those doubts and fears can seem overwhelming and nearly impossible. Especially if they try to do it alone thinking everyone else is better. 

I thought of the mommas who cry silent tears. Tears she doesn’t share with anyone else because they hurt too much. Tears that come from a place of hurt left without words. Hidden in the depth of her heart.

For those mommas I pray for comfort and healing to pour over their hearts this Mother’s Day weekend. 

Momma, you may be a mom who celebrates this Mother’s Day with great joy. Or, you are a mom whose heart is broken. Maybe you carry a dull ache in your chest but you’re able to smile and make it through the weekend. You might only have a memory of your mom to celebrate while you wish she could hear you one more time, tell her, Happy Mother’s Day. 

Through your tears remember what the Psalmist tells us. 

“Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.” Psalm 126:5-6

Despite whatever we face as mommas this weekend, let us take the time to sow through our tears. Sow the goodness of the hope and love of our Savior into the mommas around us. Those that are joyful, let us be joyful with them. Those that hurt, let us comfort them. Those that need love let us love them. Those that mourn, let us mourn with them. Let our testimony be in our journey reaching others with his love bringing them from darkness to light together. 

Bobbie