I Am Tired.

I’m tired and I don’t want to be. But I am. 

The last several days have been a struggle. A struggle more than your normal struggle with normal stress. In the dark of morning where my life is usually pretty intentional I’ve struggled. It’s real. 

And I’ve tried to decipher why. Why am I struggling. Where has my energy gone. What happened to motivation for the normalcy of my life. It’s real. 

This morning I woke up at my normal time determined to be intentional. Despite the tired. Wearily I took my shower, cried a little, got dressed, did the dishes, made my coffee, and sat down at the table. Cried a little more. Intentional and purposeful with sheer determination to do my normal necessary components of life. 

As I opened my bible I prayed for God to speak to me. Help me feel your strength where I feel weak, tired, and weary. I AM TIRED. 

Because this is the real of it all. I just don’t understand. So, I ask why. How. How long am I supposed to endure before the victory is realized. What am I supposed to demonstrate during this trial. And why can’t I find the words to simply say it isn’t true. That isn’t how I feel; at all. Honestly, this feels like FOREVER. Can we be done already. 

Truth is: I hurt. I grieve. I worry. I wonder. I wish. I love. 

When I opened my bible I turned to a page that I had written in a few weeks ago. A very timely message for a time approaching that I didn’t know was coming. Oh the trial has been there. For a long while now. But I’ve weathered the storm sometimes better than others. It’s been a good bit since I felt this tattered. 

Today, I want to share with you, my friend, that when you’re weary, tired, and weak, there is loving direction from our Father. 

Hebrews 12:12-13 

“So take a new grip with your tired hands & stand firm with your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak & lame, will not stumble & fall but will become strong.” 

He knows. He knows my hands are tired and my legs are shaky. He knows I’m weary. He knows I am tired. He knows I feel weak. 

But here is what I heard him say for you and me.

1. Hold on. Hold on with a new even tighter grip to the truth of his word, promise, love, mercy, and grace. 
2. Stand up. Don’t allow yourself to lay down, sit down, or curl up in defeat. Stand. Stand tall. Victorious people stand.
3. Set your sights on the path. Get your eyes on the prize. 
4. Start walking. Put one foot in front of the other and walk. In authority. Walk. Don’t stay still. Walk. Keep praying. Keep fasting. Keep moving. Keep praising. Be faithful. 
5. Lead others. Your testimony is in your journey. Bring people with you. Claim his goodness. Always. Serve others. Bring others on the path to victory with you. 

Friend, we grow weary. We get tired. Our hearts hurt. But our call is to get up, move, and bring people with us along the path of victory. 

Much love. Bobbie