I paused Memorial Day and said an intentional prayer for families who the holiday serves as a stark reminder of a soldier they loved and lost. While the long holiday weekend represents much more than picnics, days off work, and the traditions of our culture, it does commonly come with all of the activities I’ve described. My weekend was no exception to the rule. I spent Memorial Day weekend with my family enjoying the weather and time together. As did many others I know.
Yesterday, as I prepared for the day, I found a new bathing suit fit too tight. The scale showed evidence of the few extra pounds I found over the last few months. My thoughts were on the day ahead and time with my kiddos with some distraction of the morning events. Unbeknownst to them. Packing commenced early in the morning to make every attempt at not forgetting little things like sunscreen. Sunscreen and boats on water go well together unless you’re looking forward to red skinned miserable babies. I am not so I packed bags upon bags of things we might need and remembered the sunscreen. But, just in case, I bought a bottle on the way.
We laughed. We ate. We swam. We napped.
We left the dock exhausted.
And then we stopped for ice cream to finish up the day with their favorite treat.
After my morning I was not sure if I would eat ice cream or pass it by considering the swimsuit that fit me like I was a busted can of biscuits.
As I pondered in my mind the decision, pros, cons, and a million other things; I made my decision. Three simple words came through the flurry of thoughts.
Eat. The. Cake.
Like many, many of you reading this blog, I struggle. Do I eat the cake today. Do I push it away. How much have I gained. How do my clothes fit, today. Because that same outfit I wore last week has left me feeling uncertain this week. I’m bloated. I’m plus 2 pounds that feel like 20. I’m worried about my body image. My hair. My skin.
The outer beauty my youth once knew has faded and left an undesirable gap between where I once was and am now. Interesting, this is the perpetual cycle within which I have lived the vast majority of my adult life. Most of us can relate.
Health is important. I have no desire to sacrifice mine as I find it of great value. Balance is good. A balance I strive to achieve, at times, to no avail.
We, as women, see ourselves through a critical lens clouded with human flaws and perceptions. Often creating our own misery. The fluctuation of a pound or two is a part of life that I find difficult to navigate well.
Yet, somehow, my toddlers miss it all.
They strive to be just like me. Wear their hair the same. Walk like me. Talk like me. Nurture like me. Dress just like me. Laugh the same way I do. Dance with the same enthusiasm as I do. Listen to the same music as I do.
They desire, to, be me.
All the good and the bad of me. They just want, to, be me.
Momma, eat the cake. Or in my case, eat the ice cream. Laugh while you do. Love while you do. Make a memory while you do. Allow yourself the opportunity to be present in the moment even if the dress doesn’t fit the way you’d like it to.
Push it aside, give them a piece of you worth having. The you that shines a light of love into their souls leaving the lasting impression of what it is to be a godly example of the nurturer God has designed for them to follow after.
As they grow, they will not remember if your dress size was small, medium, or large at various stages of their life. They will remember if the memories embedded in love was small, medium, or large at various stages of their life.
If you do not love yourself, you cannot love them.
Love yourself as you discover yourself over and over again throughout all the stages of your life. Lovingly reassure yourself with the knowledge that God chose you to be their momma despite every flaw you find yourself fixated upon. Share words of wisdom and guidance in Christ with your children as you serve role modeling the woman your little girls desire to be and your little boys desire to marry. Love yourself. Ask God to help you put on the lens of his perspective seeing the you he is creating and shaping into his calling for your life. Love yourself in your home, your work, your marriage, and your mothering as you juggle life’s demands some days better than others.
The days will pass by quicker than you can imagine leaving behind a legacy of love from your heart to theirs. Pause for a moment. Eat the cake. Make the memory. Laugh and love for the moment. All the rest of it will come into its rightful place as you navigate the waters of life seeking God first and letting him, through your tender submissive heart, pour over your family his goodness and mercy covering every place you fall short making whole the lessons of life your children need.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Proverbs 31:25-30 NIV
