The ache in my heart is an all too familiar feeling. One that reminds of a time before. Back when the wound was fresh. The jagged edges gave way to layers of muscle torn as though I had run a section of my heart through the meat grinder. Slowly a scar began to form. Healing. Covering. Closure. You could see the oozing of blood as the scar tissue sealed the outer edge.
The scar had faded so light I almost forgot it was there. A distant memory that caught my attention from time to time as I happened to catch a glimpse in the mirror of that thin misshapen line barely visible to the naked eye. I knew. That was all that mattered.
Until today.
I felt the tear in my chest as the scar gave way to the pressure behind it pushing its way from the depths of my hollow chest past the surface of my heart. I would have imagined the scar tissue to hold back the flood like a dam holding strong against the force of the river. But it did not. It broke. As it broke. I broke.
I watched as the pieces of my heart crumbled into a heap of dust as the pain flooded every corner of my hollow chest in its path. I am convinced the force of the flood transformed the landscape of my soul as it pushed its way through every crevice of my being.
The very act of breathing is an unbearable task.
The weight of grief has crushed my soul.
Honestly, I’m embarrassed to admit my heart is this broken. I thought I had moved on. Worked through the pain. Healed the wound.
Today, I am surprised by the undeniable reality, that I remain wounded.
Angry. I feel angry. How dare this hurt so bad.
Frustrated. How dare I be this weak.
Broken. Weak. Crushed. Overwhelmed. How dare I be this vulnerable.
I sat frozen in the pew. Wondering if everyone around me saw through my thin exterior shell in a sad attempt to cover the brokenness within. Damaged. Broken. Hurt. Wounded. An ailment of emotional disease plagued my soul.
The altar opens. I wonder. Should I go or should I stay?
As the minister invites those seeking healing to the front, I have watched others gather. With a thought of the various physical ailments each might be facing. Without doubt I know God is in the house. His presence fills the atmosphere. In his presence healing is within reach for any who desire to receive by faith. After all, by his stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:5). Matthew 8 describes many miraculous healings. As people have come forth, by faith, seeking the healing touch of the Father, Jesus delivers. He gifts healing not because we deserve it rather because he is merciful, gracious, loving, and kind.
This is where I find myself falling short of the blessing of healing that awaits me and you. Often, we, at least I, have perceived the call for healing to be an invitation for those with physical ailments. Cancer. Physical pain. Heart disease. Asthma. Hearing issues. Headaches. Bodily hurts. The list goes on.
What about the healing we need that is not a disease of physical ailment.
Does our broken crushed heart not need healed. The anxieties and fears of today we carry on our shoulders. Worries for tomorrow that disrupt the ability of our mind to find rest. The traumatic events of life that haunt the essence of our existence as the memories lurk in the corners waiting to sneak back into the present.
We only limit ourselves by limiting our ask. For every hurt of life, be it physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual, there is but one healer. The ultimate Healer. The one and only. The Creator. The Name above all names. The Savior. The Redeemer. The One. Alpha and Omega. El-Shaddai. The King of all kings.
His name; Jesus Christ.
He says, all who are weary come to me and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).
He is close to the broken hearted and saves those crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).
He weeps when we weep (John 11:35).
He tracks all of our sorrows keeping every single tear we have shed in a bottle recording them in a book as he intimately is with us in the midst of our pain (Psalm 56:8).
God is the God of healing. Healing for your every need including the brokenness of your heart. His loving hand is extended to you in your hurt to hold you in his loving arms giving comfort that only the Maker of your soul can give. Come today. Come for your healing. Ask and ye shall receive (Matthew 7:7-8).
The God of all creation formed you (Psalm 139), called you by name (Jeremiah 29:11), is your Father (Matthew 7:11), and desires to bless you as he heals every affliction you carry. The afflictions of your body, soul, or spirit. He is the healer of them all.
His house is where the broken, flawed, plagued, and weary come for the healing hand of blessing laid upon our hearts as he mends them back together leaving a whole, healed, humble, holy heart. Bring him your heart. Lay it on the altar. Let the God of all creation heal the brokenness and heal your wounds. Bobbie
“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”
Psalms 147:3 NLT
