Blemish. Some flaw. A speck of imperfection. But it feels like the Scarlett Letter tattooed across your chest. Embroidered on every shirt you wear. For everyone to see. First thing. As soon as you enter the room. Heavy. Bold. Bright Red.
We are all intimately aware of our shortcomings. Worry ourselves over the perception of the blemishes in our lives. What do others think. Surely they know. All of my mistakes. My regrets. Where I came from. And they don’t even know it all. What if they did.
Our perception of others intentions may or may not be reality but they’re reality in the moment we feel the pain of it.
We all carry blemishes. Scars. Representation of all the wrong in life we wish nobody knew. I’ve found we worry about the baggage of life we carry around behind us even if it wasn’t our fault.
Labels.
Oh, where to begin. All the labels we give ourselves and each other.
Poverty.
Alcoholic.
Crackhead.
Addict.
Worthless.
Single Parent.
Lazy.
Fat.
Molested.
And, the list goes on.
Scars. Every label listed above is a scar. A blemish. Flaw. Maybe it was in your past or maybe it’s your struggle today. Something you did or simply something done to you.
Maybe it’s somewhere in life you never thought you’d find yourself. I’ve been there. Caught in a mess I couldn’t figure out how to work my way out of. Spent a lot of time wondering how I got there. Didn’t I know better. Surely, I was raised better. Yet, I still found my way there. In that place.
Hope.
As I thought intently about the message of my ministry grown from my personal testimony, I was drawn to Psalm 139. Mostly because it’s been real for me. A struggle. To know and understand that despite my flaws, blemishes, and scars of life, God loves me. He made me. Fearfully and wonderfully in his image.
To know that in my darkest hour, he called me by my name, not by my sin. He saw the beauty of the me he made when everyone else saw the ashes that covered me.
Despite all of my flaws. Present and past. He knows my every thought before I even do. There is nowhere I can go that he isn’t. Always he is with me.
Always, he is with you.
The darkness of our lives are made light with his presence.
Wherever you are in life. Whatever that place is. No matter how dreadful it might appear to everyone around you. While everyone is busy labeling. God is busy calling you by name. Into your place of beauty. For he created your innermost being. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. Praise him for you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Take a deep breath and know that your most hidden scar has never been hidden from him. Yet, he has called you by your name and not your sin. Come to him. His arms are open wide. No matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been, he celebrates with joy upon your return.
It is raw and vulnerable to share your flaws to his glory with those around you. Often I struggle with how real to be when I share my journey. Because it hurts. And I wonder what others will think. My biggest fear is being unworthy to share my testimony with you because my life is flawed. I carry blemishes I can barely see past. Shed tears from the scars of this life. Past and present. But in all of these moments, his glory is there, his presence makes light, and he comforts every ache I am willing to give him.
So, I pray with you today. Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Use me and my flaws to bring others to you. For you are always good. Even when I’m not. You are always worthy. Even though I’m not. Let every moment of my life be yours.
Bobbie
